Freedom, joy, hope
I’m a bit late this week. Truth be told, I have Covid-19 fatigue. I’m tired of isolating. I’m tired of not being able to go anywhere. I’m tired of worrying about my loved ones getting this disease and I’m tired of the suffering I see in the world. I’m tired, period. But, just when I believe I’ll go crazy before this is over, God gives me a focus.
While some may argue (me included) that Lent from last year never ended, truly it did - and we have another one coming in a couple of weeks! This year, we have decided to study ubuntu - an African philosophy - that translates “I am, because you are.” Now if that isn’t something to ponder, I don’t know what is. Nelson Mandela and Desmond Tutu used this philosophy to guide South Africa through healing and restoration after apartheid. It worked.
So, I’ve been studying up on this process. I’ve been reading a book called “Mending the Divides”, another entitled “Reconciliation”, and another about restorative justice. (I have a lot of time to read:) What I’ve found is this: God is love. God is peace. God is always. I can’t say that I can yet understand all I’m reading on a deep level, but I can say that God is changing my heart and my thoughts. God is expanding and challenging my faith. God is giving me something to focus on rather than the pandemic. God is saying to me loud and clear that I am not alone, I will survive this hell, and that even when I’m exhausted by life, God is ready to re-direct my thoughts to those that will deepen my relationship with God, and show me different aspects of God’s being as well as my own. No other time in my life have I had the time to be still that I do now. No other time in my life has my home been so deeply cleaned, that there is literally nothing else for me to clean. No other time in my life have I had this much time to spend solely with God. (I thought 10 day silent retreats were a long time!) Truly, I wouldn’t have chosen this. I want to be out in the world - seeing people in 3D - hugging them, eating with them, singing with them. But, this is what we have. I am so grateful to God for guiding me to think anew, for being with me in my isolation and for the ability to pray on Zoom with you all. I believe there are many gifts to be realized and though I may have to search high and low for them, God is showing me the way out of Covid-19 fatigue.
I am looking forward to a lent that teaches me that being penitent is really about freedom; that being in the desert is about self-discovery and God-discovery and it can be filled with joy, and that the hope in resurrection is real, tangible, and available now.
The fact that we are on this journey together is an amazing reality for me. Thank you for being you, because I deeply believe that “I am, because you are.”
Rev. Joan
